Do you think this line of thinking can become an excuse for cowardice? As in, being wronged, and using "being above that" to stop the wronging from keeping happening?
I agree with being rational about your response, but also have noticed in myself that I have to be careful not to use this line of reasoning to keep my head down, cowardly. Sometimes you do have to stand up for yourself.
Great question. I think this is quite similar to questions that can arise related to Stoic acceptance. Acceptance doesn't mean passivity, it just means coming to terms with what can't be changed so that our responses can be focused on what can.
In the same way, not being like your enemy isn't the same as doing nothing. It's just that we don't want someone's else bad actions to dictate our character/response.
The four Stoic virtues are wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance. Standing up for yourself, or standing against a wrong in general, requires courage and justice in particular.
In short, I'd say cowardice isn't compatible with the real meaning behind "not being like your enemy."
Right, right, this is the way, I agree in that there is always a reasonable course of action, but where I still find the difficulty is at knowing what the reasonable way is at the heat of the moment.
Usually, when something calls for revenge, it is not a small matter, you know?
Like someone calling your girlfriend something inappropriate in front of you, to give an example, and in the heat of the moment, acting rationally goes out of the window if you're not properly trained to remain cool under the conditions.
I think that's why Stoics like Epictetus used the example of athletic training so much. We can't expect to act rationally if we're unprepared, which is why practice is needed. We might fail to act reasonably in a particular situation, but we aren't perfect - we can review what we did and try to improve next time.
Thinking seriously about what kind of things might test us and what the best repsonse would be is a good habit in the long term. In the shorter term, I think it's good to practice pausing before reacting to give ourselves time to think more clearly. As Seneca put it, the greatest remedy for anger is delay.
The best revenge is to not be like your enemy.
Do you think this line of thinking can become an excuse for cowardice? As in, being wronged, and using "being above that" to stop the wronging from keeping happening?
I agree with being rational about your response, but also have noticed in myself that I have to be careful not to use this line of reasoning to keep my head down, cowardly. Sometimes you do have to stand up for yourself.
Great question. I think this is quite similar to questions that can arise related to Stoic acceptance. Acceptance doesn't mean passivity, it just means coming to terms with what can't be changed so that our responses can be focused on what can.
In the same way, not being like your enemy isn't the same as doing nothing. It's just that we don't want someone's else bad actions to dictate our character/response.
The four Stoic virtues are wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance. Standing up for yourself, or standing against a wrong in general, requires courage and justice in particular.
In short, I'd say cowardice isn't compatible with the real meaning behind "not being like your enemy."
Right, right, this is the way, I agree in that there is always a reasonable course of action, but where I still find the difficulty is at knowing what the reasonable way is at the heat of the moment.
Usually, when something calls for revenge, it is not a small matter, you know?
Like someone calling your girlfriend something inappropriate in front of you, to give an example, and in the heat of the moment, acting rationally goes out of the window if you're not properly trained to remain cool under the conditions.
What do you think is the best practice here?
I think that's why Stoics like Epictetus used the example of athletic training so much. We can't expect to act rationally if we're unprepared, which is why practice is needed. We might fail to act reasonably in a particular situation, but we aren't perfect - we can review what we did and try to improve next time.
Thinking seriously about what kind of things might test us and what the best repsonse would be is a good habit in the long term. In the shorter term, I think it's good to practice pausing before reacting to give ourselves time to think more clearly. As Seneca put it, the greatest remedy for anger is delay.